The Doctor-Patient
Disconnect I
often hear complaints from patients who have
trouble communicating with their doctors.
“My doctor uses words I don’t understand,”
or “My doctor doesn’t listen to me,” or a
dozen variations.
It’s easy to see why. We no longer live in a
Marcus Welby world. The days of smiling
doctors spending quality time with patients
are gone. Today physicians deal with
insurance constraints, government
regulations, and security issues. The amount
of energy they can devote to patients is a
fraction of what it once was.
This doesn’t mean we have to accept the
potential medical problems this new reality
creates. As long as we are willing to accept
some of the decision-making responsibility
ourselves, we may have a better chance for
treatment success anyway.
If you feel a disconnect when it comes to
communicating with your doctor, it may be a
question of respect. Your doctor owes you
respect, but in his hectic world, you may
need to remind him.
Here’s how:
Prior to appointments, create a clear and
concise list of the points you want to make,
and the questions you want to ask. The key
is to be as succinct as possible.
When your doctor is speaking, don’t
interrupt. In turn, ask the same of him.
Listen carefully to what he says. Then begin
working through your list.
If your doctor interrupts, stop him. Ask him
to give you a full minute to state your
point or question. If he interrupts again,
then ask politely, but firmly, again.
If his answers include words or concepts you
don’t understand, then ask him to explain in
plain English, to spell out the medical
terms, or even draw you a picture. If you
still don’t understand, at least you’ll
command respect by sincerely trying.
As long as you have kept to your side of the
respect bargain, then you will have a sense
of whether your doctor is capable of
respecting you in return. If he grows
impatient, digs in his heals, or is
unwilling to discuss with you further, then
you have a decision to make.
Are you willing to tolerate disrespect? Or
is it time to find another doctor? Trust
your instincts. No law says you have to see
any doctor in particular. Insurance
companies may want you to believe otherwise
but then, it’s not their quality of life, or
even survival, that depends on improved
doctor-patient communication.
© 2006 Trisha Torrey
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